so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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