i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
