you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
