I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
