Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
