Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
