rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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