I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
