Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
