I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
