Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Randomize
