Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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