Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
