i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
