Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
