College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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