Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
