JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
