was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
