so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
