hotel room ftw
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
