Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
