You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
