I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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