So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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