Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
