coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
