they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
