Me too!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
