Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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