she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
