I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
