Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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