if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
