I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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