I cockslap morals
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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