3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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