I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
