oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
