My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
