Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
