Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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