i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
