Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
