Me. At least after what I've been through.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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