I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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