I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
