my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
