Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
