Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
