yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
