Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
