Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
